The story so far...

Thomas and Deborah have been planning the perfect retirement for many long years. They are visiting their financial adviser, Louise, to complete their arrangements when …

Later that day... (Version one)


Louise: With your combined pensions, and the income from assets in your SIPP, you’re in a very strong position. There’s no reason for you not to retire next year. It’s really a great position to be in.

Deborah: Want to swap?

Louise: Seven-day weekend? Yes, please!

Thomas: There is just one thing – we’d like to withdraw some capital. Will that be a problem?

Louise: That depends how much.

Thomas: As I’m sure I’ve mentioned previously, Deborah and I are keen gardeners.

Louise: Yes. You may have mentioned that one or two …

Deborah: … thousand times… .

Thomas: There’s a strip of land at the end of our garden. I’ve had my eye on it for a long time and I think the owner is finally ready to sell. It’s practically a wasteland. They’ve never properly used it.

Deborah: Our next door neighbour has just installed a massive Koi pond - it’s very impressive!

Thomas: Yes, but ours will be better!

Deborah: Can you tell we’re competitive?

Thomas: Go The Cliptomaniacs!

Louise: Cliptomaniacs?

Deborah: We’re more creative with our gardening than with our team names.

Thomas: Once you’ve retired, we’ll have all the time in the world to make it perfect!

Louise: Your wife is supposed to be relaxing in her retirement - you can’t just put her straight back to work!

Thomas: Gardening isn’t work! It’s love, it’s life. It’s been the making of our marriage, hasn’t it?

Louise: How much is the additional land likely to cost?

Thomas: Around £50,000.

Louise: That seems quite a lot?

Thomas: It’s a quarter of an acre and it adjoins our property.

Louise: Well, if it’s important to you, we could find the money. I can start on the paperwork to transfer your pension assets and I suspect The Cliptomaniacs can be ready to move (nodding to Thomas) – including on that strip of land – within a week.

Thomas: Fantastic! I can’t tell you how we’ve been looking forward to this moment…

Deborah: Well, hang on…we don’t have to decide right now do we?

Thomas: What? Why not? Don’t be coy … [winks]

Deborah avoids eye contact with her husband and focuses on Louise.

Deborah: I’m not.

Thomas: Now you’re being crabby.

Deborah: We don’t have to make any decisions right now do we?

Louise: No of course not. Whenever you’re ready.

Deborah: Great, well thank you so much. We’ll consider our options and get back to you.